Necessary.

It's funny. How things end up. How things don't work out. And how sometimes they do.

I love drawing. But my best work comes from a dark place. I have to put myself in a dark place. It's hard. It's somewhat unhealthy. I'm not sure what to do. I think that I let myself get in a dark place because of recent events. I could have brushed it off and walked away, but I let it happen. I'm not sure why I let it happen, but I did. I think it's human behavior, sometimes we just need to feel pain.

I'm done with feeling that way now. I have anger- I won't lie. Those actions that effect me- it makes me angry. I think to myself- "how can someone be such a f'n idiot" or "how does someone have the nerve." I need to let go of that anger. I'm working on it but seriously, people got nerve. Seriously.

"ici et maintenant" - it's on my ring and I wear it all the time. I have this thing... I have to wear it or I feel like my day will fall apart. And before I felt this way I just felt naked without it until a horrible day had come. There's something about it. I know it's silly but I never take it off anymore- almost never.

It means "here and now" in French. Here and now. Live in the here and now. It's simple. Direct. But sometimes I think to myself... How about when the here and now isn't how you want it to be. It's a weird statement. And I don't even think it's at all logical. But sometimes it's just necessary.

Things are sometimes just necessary. We can't always be logical. We shouldn't be. That's not how life works.