Monday, December 15, 2008

Sudden Power.

The power of the internet. It's crazy the things you can do. Rick and I were trying to figure out what glasses were on the face of Q-Tip in a picture we saw. We had no idea what they were called and Rick just recognized them from hip-hop artists of the 80's. We were staring at Cazals, which we cleverly navigated our way through Google to figure out. I actually like their glasses, especially CazalxDita. When I finally have money I'll treat myself - hopefully thats after I graduate, just hopefully.

The power of words. Wording. The power of feelings.

The power of expressing your feelings with words typed on a computer or phone through blog or text. We've become quite cryptic. I remember when saying "Have fun." in a text didn't actually mean have fun - it meant I actually hope you don't have fun and I hope you keep thinking about what you did wrong. Hah, being in relationships, but that was always stupid - that's why I hated relationships. I am a victim of being able to easily express myself through these typed words rather than face to face, but I'm working on it. I think I'm getting there where I can say what I want, how I feel, what I think. Of course, only if necessary - I still have my pride, which holds a different set of words to be expressed.

I say you're ridiculous because that's honestly how I feel.

I say you make me feel ridiculous because you do and well no one's ever made me feel quite this ridiculous in a long time. Yet this time - it's different - it's amazing, no matter what. What does it all mean? Nothing, absolutely nothing. What were my intentions? To jump once, do something crazy and different. To live a little.

I say you amaze me because the things you do are only things I wish I could do.

I say you scare me because I care for you. And well I don't want to be responsible for all the terrible things that could occur.

I say I'll miss you and really I will. Without you around, it's not going to be the same, but of course people grow and we keep moving forward. There's nothing else we can do about it.

I say... I love you. You must be special, damn special.

I'm staring out the window right now. Seeing the sparkling snow - I never noticed it before. Me and Rick were out having a cigarette earlier in my garage. Then we stepped outside for a few minutes and started staring at the sparkling snow. It was crazy. Never seen it before. An amazing site, but I still hate snow. Definitely hate it and wished it would just go away.

I know very little about myself. But it just takes some searching. The people around me are links to knowing more about myself. The sparkling snow is the amazing things that I never noticed before - appearing suddenly, beautifully and amazingly. Words expressed, not very defining or foretelling, but listen deeply you'll learn about the past, possibly the present and thoughts that pass and go. What have you learned?

But wait... where does the boundary of being honest get crossed?

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