strange & awkward.

Just a few thoughts from over the weekend:

My life is taking strange and awkward turns.

I don't know why, but my parents seem to feel the need to remind me constantly that I need to finish school. It only makes me feel like I'm doing this whole school thing for only them and no longer for myself. I hate it. I can't wait to get out of here already - when I say here I mean not only Pullman, but Washington in general. I need to get away from them and be on my own. It's definitely necessary right now. I need to be doing things for me and until I'm done with school, I don't feel like that'll be possible. My parents keep pushing too much - don't get me wrong, I love them and I'm grateful for all they do for me, I'm just having trouble figuring out and knowing what it is I want in accordance to them.

When I see him, it's different. "That was weird...", yes I agree it is weird. I don't know what to think sometimes and my feelings change tremendously from the moment I'm here in Pullman to the moment I'm back there. As much as I miss you when I'm not there - I'm definitely going to miss you even more when you move. My pride, it gets in the way. If I threw away my pride I'd pick up the phone right now to say hi, ask how your day went, tell you I'll miss you, and say goodnight. But I won't and I can't, there's no point, no reason. I'm not asking for much, well honestly, I don't know what I'm asking for at all.

I've always been scared to say what's on my mind. Not only now, but always in my life, in any situation. It's always hard for me to express myself and speak out, truly speak out. This is what makes me self cautious. It's something I really need to overcome. Something I really need to work on. It's like I said before, I'm not too good with conflict of any sort.

I saw the new iPod Nano and iPod Touch at the Southcenter store. First note: I still can't get over how small the Southcenter store is, so thankful that Bellevue Square is much bigger even though I still think we need a bigger store. Second: the nanos are very nice - some software features may be missing, but a good change. Third: the touches were given the updates that I knew were coming, speaker and mic... too bad apparently they aren't very good speakers.

I have some of the most amazing friends - old and new.